By Rowland Jide Macaulay

[Ed. Note: The following presentation was originally delivered at the Changing Attitude worship service in London on October 14, 2003.]

My name is Rowland Jide Macaulay. I was born to Nigerian parents. I have a good understanding of our culture and traditional values -- the expectation of an African child and the African family.

Tolerance remained at an angle to cultural expectations, and homosexuality is not one that is accepted in Africa, especially in Nigeria.

I spent my teenage years in Nigeria, where I first experienced my sexuality, although in great fear: the fear of being caught, the fear of sin, of commitment of an abomination. I grew up with a lot of guilt in my heart, I often prayed for forgiveness, sanctification and purification.

I grew up with my father who is a Christian leader and I must assure you he is a fine man, a learned man and a very good father. We love each other so much, but the culture and tradition of my tribe, the Yoruba tribe, meant that no matter how successful I become, how great a child I was, homosexuality was not part of the culture.

Homosexuality is considered a foreign or alien act. Homosexuality is what happens to other people's children or activities associated with occultism.

I was married and divorced with a child before I was 26 years old. The marriage broke down based on my confession of the truth, that I am gay; by this time I was in fear that I will lose my life and my family.

For many years, I kept a low profile but not without a troubled heart. I lived my life in pretence. I lived a double life, safeguarding any revelation of my sexual orientation. It became a secret that will haunt me for many more years.

I was outed at my local Pentecostal church. I was outed amongst heterosexual friends -- it became a revelation at work. This is painful and difficult for me to deal with, it was even more painful to deal with my family, as they are embittered towards me. I felt cornered. Having no one else to turn to, I turned to the Lord. Only then did I make peace with him and began to understand my pain and anguish was for a reason. I understood that I was to be the voice for those who suffered similar predicament.

My purpose at this present time is to reach out to other gays and lesbians suffering persecution, to offer some hope and to let them know they are not alone. And without a doubt, this testimony in the forum in which it is being delivered will have repercussions, the extent of which I am not aware. However, I stand strong in my faith and belief that as a child of God all will be well.

It is not my intention to be a martyr, but simply to stand up and be counted and to highlight that I am ready to persevere, to speak up and pay the price for what I believe.

It has been acknowledged that more and more same-sex loving Nigerians -- both at home and abroad -- suffer immense prejudice, due to the cultural belief and lack of education about sexuality and tolerance towards people with a different sexuality.

The prohibition of homosexuality in Nigeria is not only confined to the letters of the legislation but is also denied as prevailing within the culture. [There is] a continuous attempt to deny or refuse to acknowledge that gays and lesbians make up a significant part of the population.

Homosexuality, as far as Nigeria is concerned, is an abuse of traditional values.

Parents in Nigeria will seldom accept their son or daughter is homosexual. It is commonly said, "I would rather have the corpse of my child than accept him or her to be homosexual." Steps are often taken to seek counselling, prayers, exorcism, casting out the evil, and binding the spirit of homosexuality, in an attempt to remove what is seen as a curse.

The prevailing view of churches in Nigeria believes that homosexuality defies the country's rich culture, and the practise of it will cause the individual to be ostracised.

Finally, the ultimate tenet of the Bible is love. It is my hope that this issue is debated with this in mind.

We - are - all - in - this - together. Thank you.

The Rev. Rowland Jide Macaulay is an ordained Christian minister and a poet. His writings from Nigeria and the United Kingdom may be found on his Poetry Upfront website.

Your Comments
Finally someone sees sense and understand the pressure, thanks for your comment, Nigeria Unlike South Africa, is not prepared to accept homosexuals as valid members of its society and with many showing respect for family values and traditions, true homosexuals have been cheated out of the chance to live and lead a truthful homosexual life.

I am Nigerian and live in Lagos the pressure is so much and hard to bear. FK,
Suggest you guys find better things to do with your lives instead of obsessing over homosexuality like it is some new kind of religion that you've just discovered, it is not that important. If you enjoy taking it up the arse or vice-versa and most people don't then let them be. Live your life as best you can (on the down low) otherwise if you can't then be prepared to accept the consequences of the choice you make in such environment. You do not have to force it on people who don't want to accept just like you don't have to live a straight lifestyle if you don't want to.

In any case African's generally do not place emphasis on sexulaity issues and what you do behind closed doors is your business (Gay or straight) as long as you leave it there where it belongs.

Finally there are too many starving mouths to feed in Africa to afford the luxury of sexual obsessing over gay or straight lifestyles, suggest you leave that to the contented bellies of the West. And those of you brothers in nigeria or wherever if you want to live the homosexual lifestyle please take the next plane out to England as you can obviously afford to do so. With your full bellies, your computers and access to the internet in the land of the wretched (99.9% do not own one) im not surprised that your cup runneth over to the point where you've begun to obsess over sexuality.

Find more productive things to do with your lives. BlkMsclGuy
Homosexuality does exist in Nigeria before Nigeria received her freedom from Colonial master. I believe that the reason they left the Victoria law against it.
In Nigeria now we have a lot of gays, bi-sexuals in numbers. The testimony is one of such. We have homosexuals in the high places, Churchs and mosques and all over Nigeria. It only that guys are discreets and on down low side. Nobody want to be branded or ostracised. So no big deal! FK.
Interesting, Not as easy as you have enumerated in your contibution. It Ieaves me wondering whether you are from Africa. Kwaku Kwaku

I'd like to disagree slightly about the DL. Whilst I agree with your logic, I disagree with the practicality. When a heterosexual wears a wedding ring, holds a child's hand or the hand of the opposite sex, when he mentions 'wife', 'Mother-in-law' or 'daughter' etc, he is advertising his heterosexuality. When he also believes he has the right to send his tongue down his female partner's throat or to show other forms of physical affection in public, does he also have the right to deny me the right to do the same to/with my male partner? My Mother waited patiently for a couple to notice, snogging on my car that she was waiting to get into the car. I asked the man what he would do if he found me doing the same with my boyfriend on his car. He replied that he would beat me to pulp. I said; "Thankyou for the information so it's OK if I do the same to you if you don't stop doing it on my car." No-one has the right to know my sexual orientation but I will defend my right to make it known to anyone if I so choose.

However, in all or most countries in Africa, not only is homosexuality illegal but the ignorance thus caused, creates extremes of homophobia. and repressive behaviour. Unless one knows (as I do), how oppression feels, it is unfair to judge the respose. Be on the DL by all means but only if it is compelled by barbaric law because every human has the same right to peace and dignity, whether it be for his skin colour, sexual oriention or shoe size. Anthony