Essays From The Church -  Daniel Hardman's debut book, Essays from Church, Volume I, is a collection of thoughtful musings reminiscent of some of the writings from the 1960s.

 INTRODUCTION

From September 1991 to February 1995, I was stationed at Sembach Air Base, Germany, while in the US Air Force, serving as lay minister in the base Gospel Service. On February 28, 1993, I brought a message for the last Sunday of Black History Month. I did not know it then, but that was to be the beginning of one of the greatest challenges of my life. Here in essay form are the actual sermonettes that followed to include that message, and made up the part of the church service I called "Renewing Our Minds."

What prompted me to give such a message? No doubt that many of those listening were asking the same thing. As I said, it was February, but my message was probably more radical than even a black congregation was ready for. Yet, during Black History Month militant messages are better tolerated. As a result, I was asked by the senior minister to do similar messages each Sunday thereafter. I had been investigating other ways of thinking. Consequently, I began exploring other religions, ideas and concepts to broaden my mind. Although it's only spoken of behind closed doors, everyone knows that somewhere we, not just blacks but people in general, have taken a wrong turn. We need to get back on the right path, but as I saw it most people were just not interested in making any changes. Change is too much trouble. Cool to talk about, but that's all.

It just so happened that was the last Sunday of February, and I was the only black minister "lucky" enough to have the opportunity to bring a message during the entire month. I say lucky because we had recently been assigned a new chaplain and he didn't seem interested in, or was ignorant of, the traditions of black congregations and their observances. The Air Force Chief of Chaplains was not concerned that a black congregation might have need of a black chaplain. Our outgoing chaplain, Major Reggie Cleveland, one of only 88 African American active duty military chaplains at that time, had met with the chief of chaplains twice to help ensure he was replaced by another black chaplain. The Chief was not trying to hear that and in his infinite wisdom appointed us a white chaplain. The Chief of Chaplains must have been really angry at Chaplain Cleveland, because he sent us the sorriest excuse for a chaplain he could possibly find. This guy was the Homer Simpson of chaplains. In my opinion, he was as much a chaplain as Snoop Doggy Dog is a Roman Catholic Priest. Needless to say this chaplain saw no need for us to participate in Black History Month, instead soliciting other white chaplains from other services to come in and speak during February.

As I proceeded with my weekly segments, he became increasingly angry, deliberately going out of his way to stop them. He went so far as to report me to the base head chaplain, and labeled me a racist. These sermonettes were my attempts to address social issues from the black perspective, and they were met with what was seen by blacks as typical white power resistance. He was successful at blocking me for about two weeks, during which time the base chaplain and I had a heart to heart talk about my supposed racism. After our session he confessed he could not, in good conscience, prevent me from continuing my weekly segments. He didn't necessarily agree with what I was saying, but he found no racist motivation and allowed me to continue. The sermonette that really got me in trouble was the sermonette, "In Search of the Real Historical Jesus," in which I state that Jesus was a dark-skinned man. The African American Heritage Bible contains a very detailed genealogical path leading up to the life of Jesus and shows without a doubt that Jesus was anything but white. For me to have the nerve to say such a thing, and in an Air Force chapel at that, was the ultimate slap in the face for a white-bread chaplain. It proved to be a slap in the face he would have to live with.

The year I left Germany, my young chaplain was in charge of the Easter program that included a sketch of the last supper. One Sunday, while in the sanctuary I walked up to him and asked if he had found anyone to play Jesus. It was immediately following church service, so you could say he was compelled to tell the truth. The fear of impending doom was all over his face, and I honestly can say that I had never done anything so insidious in all my life. So when he said he hadn't, I eagerly volunteered. You could hear his brain screaming, "Nooooooooo!" Yes, I was his Jesus. I wonder if I was grinning outwardly as much as I was inwardly. What could he do? Tell me no. Say I wasn't qualified. Tell me he didn't think I was the right person for the job. Nope, he was stuck and he knew it. What was worse, he knew I knew he was stuck. The look in his eyes told me he would rather have pulled out his own rear molars than have me play that part. If anything, I am sure he thought I was the perfect Judas.

That's about it for my episode with the chaplain from hell. "Essays from Church" was compiled to share these and other unique experiences I've had with you. It is also a critical look at how social issues are handled, or mishandled, by the church, and gives a peek into the politics of religion. Black churches have always been extremely sensitive to these issues.

Historically, it has been the church that has served as a refuge to the Afro soul, but time has transformed it into a self-absorbed, capitalistic, anti-social machine. Church, rather than being the storehouse for the needy, has become a business venture that consumes participants like your local mega-store. My experiences with the chaplain from hell coupled with a delving into new philosophical territories brought me to a realization that I was on the wrong path. I needed to take my own advice, so I began what could best be describe  as a life reexamination. I was born into a very Christian home. My mother was the daughter of a preacher and saintly mother. Two of her brothers were ministers. My father has been a Bible teacher for years and all of my brothers, sisters and I spent at least the first 18 or so years of our lives in church. I was a minister for seven years. My brother, Herbert, one year older than me, has been a minister for about ten years. Many of my ancestors on both sides of my family have been ministers and religious leaders. Clearly, this was not going to be easy.

In 1989, while stationed at Carswell Air Force Base in Fort Worth, Texas, I met a young man named Benjamin Joseph Madden. This is one person I will never forget. He told me things that I initially thought were beyond crazy, yet I must admit I was fascinated and deeply intrigued by the things he said. Ben had been a minister once himself and knew just how to reach me. He told me things like Jesus having been born in a cave in Africa instead of in a manger in Bethlehem. Things like Jesus having a wife and children; having written at least one book and quite possibly more. He asked me questions that I could not even begin to answer, like who did Cain marry after he murdered Abel; Why did Israel and Judah war amongst themselves so much and whose side was God on since they were both supposed to be God's chosen people?

These and other questions stopped me dead in my tracks. Suddenly, I didn't know what to believe, and although I put up a good front, I was no longer as sure as I once was. All these questions he raised did one thing: they made me think, really think for myself for the first time in my life. I began to wonder if I had been misled, not intentionally, but simply because the people who had taught me just didn't know the truth themselves. It was at that point I realized I wanted to do better. I didn't want to be one who misled others simply because I didn't know. The reality is that it is easy to not know. Because it's so easy, I believe many people do it willingly.

"To whom much is given, much is required." Sound familiar? It should since it's one of the most quoted verses of the Bible. It's easier, oftentimes preferred, to feign ignorance because the truth seems so complicated. It has been complicated through layer upon layer of superstition, myth, and fable piled on over the centuries. It is mind-boggling and the average person becomes so frustrated at trying to get to the truth that they finally give up, and usually at a very early age.

Haven't you noticed that young people don't care much about religion? It's shrouded in mystery like a thick fog covering the road. People can't see which way to go. It seems the closer you are to revealing something critical to your beliefs the farther you are from any realistic point of reference. People trade reasonable understanding in concrete things like family, earth, and society-based living for intangibles such as materialism, miracles and going to heaven after they die. Then, after much disappointment due to unfulfilled promises when these intangibles fail to deliver, the normal vices of self- indulgence take hold once again and the people are left worse off than before. People long for substance, yet Christians, who are not supposed to be driven by such vanities, have begun to use these very same indulgences as proof that they are children of God.

When I stepped back and looked at all this I knew I had to renew my mind, and somehow try to convince others that they needed to do the same. Since many people respect any implication of religious authority, it is very important that those who claim such authority be aware of the overwhelming temptation to misuse it. Far too common is the manipulation of this authority for personal gain in the form of sexual favors, prestige, reverence, and exorbitant wealth.

The mind control that pervades so many of today's modern religions is astounding. However, if the only thing ministers, teachers, gurus, and others like them can find to use this power for is personal satisfaction, I say do away with all religions. Then again, maybe the answer is that there should be so many religions that it becomes impossible to tell them apart. If there were so many religions, so manynchoices, until it becomes like having no choices. Then the question of the purpose of religion becomes so valid and weighty that no one can set themselves up as the chosen ones, or the elect, or the saints. In my opinion, religion was not intended for this purpose.

Unfortunately, people are like sheep looking to be led, which opens them up to be manipulated and used and abused. I believe religion was intended as a tether between mankind and the universal creative force that made us. That it was intended to help us create a tremendous helping life here on earth, but not to be the essence of what, why, and how we live. For instance, it has amazed me for years how Christians don't understand what Jesus meant when he said, "For the love of money is the root of all evil." And what do we see when we look around us? Huge churches, pastors and ministers driving Rolls Royces and Mercedes, and living in mansions with bank accounts that rival the gross national income of some small countries. Each year, literally billions of dollars are squandered on preacher's egos and their personal fantasies.

Here is what I did. I examined EVERYTHING. Everything I had ever been taught, thought, believed, heard, read, dreamed... I checked, rechecked, and triple-checked it all! I left no stone unturned. My life quickly became a complete shambles, because of the massive overhaul being done. I finally reached bottom and came to a conclusion which I will share later. Then, like a mason laying brick for a new house, I began carefully restacking the building blocks of my life. It slowly came back together. Taking shape of what I was not certain, I scrutinized ever-so-carefully the building materials. I had to throw away many bricks that had been in my life from birth, one of which was prayer. Let me re-phrase that-- useless prayer. I didn't completely throw prayer out, but I totally reconstructed its use and purpose in my life.

Prayer, like each element, had to be almost scientifically reconstructed. It also meant that even the thing that I had held to the tightest, my Christianity was in jeopardy of being thrown out. Then came the day when I realized that I could not-- and no longer felt it was necessary to-- call myself a Christian. That was the scariest day of my life. Me, not a Christian anymore? What the hell had I gotten myself into, and where was it taking me? Yet I had passed the point of no return and had to go through with it no matter where it led. I had realized that anyone who was a Christian for either one, or a combination of, these two reasons I am about to mention was totally lost anyway. These reasons are:
1. Wanting to go to Heaven,
2. Afraid of going to Hell.

Mankind is motivated by two things: hope of gain and fear of loss. If this is your motivation for being a Christian, you are lost, in life that is, and you don't have to wait until you die. I learned through my renewal process that I had to transcend that selfish mode of thinking and being concerned only with myself and get to the real reason for living, which brings me to my next topic, death. Yes it's true, just like the Bible says; death is the last enemy to be conquered in that the fear of death is what most people dread. Death itself is not really the enemy of mankind. People don't know what to expect from the death experience so they are terrified of it. But there's a catch, you can't escape it. Damn, what a paradox!

Christians want to go to heaven but they don't want to die. They are waiting for the rapture, some mass catching away of the imaginary elect (more like the "elite") few, in order to escape it. Death should be your friend because you can't get to there, whatever or where ever there' is, from here except by dying. Death is the door to eternal life, which is the foundation of hope of any Christian's faith, a new life after life on earth. All life must come to an end and death is the ship that will carry each of us safely to the other side. They will see it's nothing like they expected and more than they could have imagined. Thanks to the horrible myths that have sprung up about the afterlife most people face terrifying uncertainties and go kicking and screaming into death. I imagine that most Christians are exactly like this only to find out that once on the other side they probably ask like little children at an amusement park ride, "Wow, can we do that again?" And it's true that some people die untimely deaths, but I guarantee if you had the chance to ask anyone who has died if they would come back to live on earth again, not a one of them would say yes, untimely death or not. So, I am no longer a Christian. Then again, why should I be? There is no mandate by any means in the Bible that says anyone has to be a Christian, period. In fact, the term "Christian" came from outsiders who observed those who said they believed in Jesus Christ (thus the word Christ-ian) and they, the outsider observers, began to call them Christians. It wasn't the followers of Christ themselves but others who first applied that term to believers in Jesus Christ because they were seen following his teachings. Modern Christians are so easily led astray that they repeat the lie of "Christian" meaning Christ-like, when in fact Christian means a follower of Jesus Christ as seen by others.

The apostles and early disciples called themselves believers, and they went from house to house worshipping, fellowshipping, and communing with one another. So what about that? Today's massive churches and cathedrals would have had no place in the early church. Such structures are nothing more than symbols of vanity to the selfish, egotistical, so-called ministers, pastors, bishops, apostles&, whatever they want to call themselves, who have the nerve to tell the rest of the world that Christianity could not be spread without money. So now even Christianity has to bow to the almighty dollar. Many a preacher has told me that the church is a business. We all know what is behind  that, don't we?

Ok, yes we live in a different time, after all that was 2000 years ago. Jesus said to be in the world but not of it. Christian schools have sports programs just like all the other secular schools, yet Christians portray their own schools as different from their secular rivals. Despite their claims of being different, they drag with them all the trappings to ensure they are carbon copies of those same secular schools. Oh, I forgot, they do allow school-sponsored prayer and Bible reading. Of course, that makes all the difference. It's alright to knock someone's head off in a football game if you pray before you do it.

So it was with great mental and emotional pain and suffering that I renewed my mind, or at least the process was well under way. Then came the hard part. What could be harder than my initial undertaking? Telling my family, especially my mother, about my new life and recent decisions. Don't forget my mother came from a very strong and deeply religious heritage. She was not about to just give me over to the devil, but was, and still is, determined to bring me back from my back-slidden state. She is still praying for me, and I love her for it, but mostly I just love her.

Did I tell you about my new mother? Well, she's not really new; she's been around forever, literally. She was there even before my flesh-and-blood mother was. It's Mother Earth. Most people only think of Father God and completely ignore the notion of Mother Earth. They don't think Mother Earth has any claim to deity, but Mother Earth is even more vital than Father God because Mother Earth is right here with us. She is what we walk on, dig into, and rest on everyday. Let me make my point this way. Have you ever really thought about how babies are born? I mean really thought about it? Ok, picture this: A man and a woman do the do and the man plants his fertilizer in the woman's seed, or egg as we call it. Then what happens? Well, the man carries the egg for ten months until the baby has reached a predetermined stage of growth. When the time comes for the baby to undertake life on its own, the man gives birth to the baby, right? WRONG! The woman does all of this. But for some reason men make it seem as if this is a punishment for the woman due to some imagined sin long, long ago. In reality, the woman is the part of the species of mankind that has, maybe in one way or another, proven to be trustworthy enough to carry this new life into the world. The same thing is true for Mother Earth. Things happen for a reason, and I believe that we are here on Mother Earth for just that reason. We are here in the "womb" of Mother Earth until we reach some predetermined point in our growth on this planet, and at that time we are passed from this life in this womb' to a totally new existence and life experience. And from here we go. . . well, I don't know, but sometimes I can't wait to get there. That's why I pray to my Mother Earth and my Father in Heaven. American Indians call him Father Sky. I teach my children the same.

I don't get trapped into loving money or things or position or any of that other foolishness that trips up others who get so easily derailed from their true purpose in life. Thank you Mother Earth! I praise you because you truly are worthy. And thank you Father Sky, I love you both. Here's a little reminder. In the book of Genesis it reads: "And God said, let us make man in our image, after our likeness.' So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them." Genesis 1v26-27.

That's where I am now in my renewal process and I must say that I am enjoying my new life and what I understand of it. Of course, I encourage everyone to have a renewal of their mind, but I realize that each of us will come to different conclusions and will mature at different times. That's the way it should be. Otherwise, we would just be experiencing another form of religion and I would be just another guru with a scheme. I hope you enjoy the book, but remember that thecontents of it are the result of my mind renewal. Some things will be a revelation to you as they were to me, and some things will not. Some things you will agree with, others you will not. Nevertheless, the most important thing to remember is that agreement is not always possible, nor always necessary, but maturity and tolerance are mandatory. One of my main criticisms about Christianity is its failure to tolerate anyone else's point of view or belief system. This type of behavior only leads to "wars and rumors of wars." I think we all have had enough of that.

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About The Author
Raised in the red hills of Tulsa, OK, Daniel D. Hardman underwent such a transformation that he could no longer be contained by the teachings and experiences of his youth. Heeding the call to a larger platform, he left his Christian ministry to become a minister to all who would listen. The youngest of 11 children he was seen as most likely to not begin a journey of this magnitude.

The old adage, "I wouldn't take nothin' for my journey now", are the sentiments that most accurately express his feelings about his sometimes uncertain yet always rewarding path. Currently, he lives in Cedar Hill, TX with his loving wife Elaine and their four children. A contributing writer and internet radio talk host for Afromerica.com, his writings also appears in The New England Informer and The Liberty Bell (newsletter for Atlanta Consultant AfterCare, Inc).